Polite & Posh: Cash Only?

In this bridal etiquette lesson we explore the idea of preferring cash over wedding gifts.

Cash Wedding Gift in Envelope
Cash is the perfect wedding gift for some, so consider asking your guests for a cash gift.

Taking the time to start a registry can be time ill-spent for the busy bride. Also, in this day and age many brides have been cohabiting with their future spouses prior to the marriage so the traditional idea that wedding presents are to help you begin your future home and life together might not always be what is most needed or wanted. Many brides have a secret desire to receive money from their guests. While that sentence makes our skin crawl and seems to fly in the face of good etiquette and manners around the world, it’s probably time to acknowledge that people want to give wedding presents and some people prefer a certain kind of present. With that justification out of the way, there is a way to ask for cash but it must be done with tact and charm and it requires follow-up action.

In a lot of ways, we all prefer cash. It’s easy to deal with, the possibilities are endless and it is just the gift that keeps on giving. Couples might use this money to help them cover the cost of the wedding, to save up for a downpayment on a house or maybe just to pay bills and live their day to day life. It can be really helpful, or it can seem really extravagant and frivolous. Because of this duality of this request, asking for cash should be handled very carefully. For starters do not by any means make a formal request. Never let this request be in writing and for the love of all that is good in this world do not include it on your invitation. It is not for you to assume that anyone is bringing gifts and it is not for you to further try to dictate what kind of gift they should bring. A good way to handle requesting cash over presents is through skillful dissemination of information. Your parents, your in-laws, your wedding party and your closest friends are good people to trust with this information. If you aren’t registered anywhere then most guests will look for insider information and will probably contact one of these people asking if you have any gift preferences. Let the word get out slowly and naturally so that it seems appropriate and acceptable for your demands to have a voice.

The key is still in the gratitude. Even for cash gifts, a thank you card is necessary and should be speedily dispatched post wedding!